Updated: Feb 8
When you are burning fire. But you need a rest. When you are like a Warrior Goddess, like a God Damn Phoenix rising, but also, you like Netflix in bed. So much.
Ataraxia: is a Greek term first used in Ancient Greek philosophy by Pyrrho and subsequently Epicurus and the Stoics for a lucid state of robust equanimity characterized by ongoing freedom from distress and worry. Peace and freedom from fear.
Translation: Being a God Damn Phoenix Rising and Loving Netflix too. And peacefully giving yourself permission to be exactly both. Anytime you choose. Just because you can.
There are essential design features involved in creating tiny, massive, bity habits that will support the constant improvement of your whole life. And let you stay the same as much as you please. Dream bigger, and act smaller. Ataraxia Baby. Live and act from a place of calm, trust, clarity and freedom. Hallelujah.
I have been a coach for many years now. I have worked with so many people who come with great intention, with emotional resilience and inner strength. And then I've watched them stumble and fall and be generally disappointed with themselves when they can't overcome their "problems" and the truly bad habits they foster to keep themselves stuck there.
There are few things quite as depressing as that shitty suspicion you hear in your mind menacingly insisting that you might be stuck with yourself and whatever shitty way of being you keep proving yourself to be. Forever. No matter what. I know it well. You know it well. It's infinitely harder to overcome than all the bad habits and hurts and mistakes themselves.
But don't fret. There is a way. I promise. And that's why we're here! Remember when James Clear in Atomic Habits talks about our language? About being the "Smoker" trying to quit, compared to the "Non smoker turning down the cigarette". You can apply this to nearly every situation in your life. I AM a good mom, every time I give my kid a vegetable. I'm not a trying to be a good mom. (read: a bad mom, trying to be a good mom). In that moment I AM a good mom. Who gets to decide that? I do. I decide who I am and how I identify. When I give in later, and let my kid walk around gleefully with a cookie in each hand while I get a few things done, or take a moment of peace, that's me. I am now a good mom, giving in to ease because I'm making that choice. This will serve you long term. Just a new habit.
Let's talk the very basics of creating new habits.
Start with 1 or 2 minutes. 1 rep. Seriously.
Try it! It's amazing. Water a plant. If your goal is to be someone who cares for the environment. Do a push-up. One. If you are someone who exercises every day. Look outside and take a breath if you need to become the type of person who knows when to take a moment and be present. Just, for the love of success, keep it short and sweet to start.
Then add another 1 minute habit to your system.
When adding think about:
Where, when and with whom you want to do this habit.
How can you make SO easy it's almost no effort.
Your habits. Your life. Your change. Your prerogative.